So my most recent book Excluded: Making Feminist and Queer Movements More Inclusive came out a year ago this month! To celebrate this
fact, throughout this month I will post a series of excerpts and essays related
to the book.
So today’s excerpt comes
from the first full chapter in the book, called “On the Outside Looking In.” It
is about my experience at Camp Trans in 2003, back during a time when most
queer/trans spaces (including that space) tended to be dominated by trans
male/masculine folks and cis queer women (this is still sometimes true today, albeit
less so than it used to be). The excerpt is from the very end of the piece, and
takes place at the end of an emotional and often tumultuous week (for me
personally, at least), and immediately after a Camp Trans performance event in
which I performed my spoken word piece Cocky.
And
after releasing all of this pent-up tension and frustration, I had one of those
rare moments of clarity. It happened just after my performance, when one of my
new friends, Lauren, came over to give me a hug. She said, “Your piece made me
proud to be a trans woman.” And her words were so moving because I had never
heard them spoken before. “Proud to be a trans woman.” And as I looked around
the camp at all of the female-assigned queer women and folks on the FTM
spectrum, I realized that in some ways I am very different from them—not
because of my biology or socialization, but because of the direction of my
transition and the perspective it has given me.
I
am a transsexual in a dyke community where most women have not had to fight for
their right to be recognized as female—it is merely something they’ve taken for
granted. And I am a woman in a segment of the trans community dominated by
folks on the FTM spectrum who have never experienced the special social stigma
that is reserved for feminine transgender expression and for those who
transition to female. My experiences as a trans woman have given me a valid and
unique understanding of what it means to be both female and feminine—a
perspective that many women here at Michigan seem unable or unwilling to comprehend.
At
Camp Trans, I learned to be proud that I am a trans woman. And when I describe
myself with the word “trans,” it does not necessarily signify that I transgress
the gender binary, but that I straddle two identities—transsexual and
woman—that others insist are in opposition to each other. And I will continue
to work for trans woman–inclusion at Michigan, because this is my dyke
community too. And I know that it will not be easy, and plenty of people will
try to make me feel like an alien in my own community. But I will take on their
prejudices with my own unique perspective because sometimes you see things more
clearly when you’ve been made to feel like you are on the outside looking in.
(note: this chapter was originally written to be a spoken word piece, and video excerpts of my performance of it in 2005 (which includes the above passage) can be found here)
More excerpts to come! And you can find out more about
the book (including reviews, interviews, and more excerpts) at my Excluded webpage.
This is just what I needed to read right now. :')
ReplyDeleteI hate the ideology that Transwomen are any less woman then those who were simply born that way. The way I see it, factual or not, I am more woman then they. For most of them, if they were born a man they couldn't lay claim to their radical feminism obviously because they exclude male participation. But, whether I'm born boy or girl, I will always be a woman because that is who I am on the inside.